* Simulated Total Distribution
* 80081.35 PNS in every ETH account
* Max Supply: 6,413,314,914.75 PNS
* Current Circulation: ~1.6bn PNS
* Funded Accounts: > 7800
What the Dick?
Penis Token (PNS) is an ERC-20 smart contract deployed on the Ethereum blockchain. The first token to implement Simulated Total Distribution (STD), PNS has two phases - the distribution phase and the circulation phase. During the distribution phase, PNS appears to exist in all ETH accounts with an initial balance of 80081.35 PNS. Literally every ETH address, even brand new ones created after the contract was deployed. But the balance is technically a lie. The tokens are available to every account, but they don't actually exist in an ETH account until the account interacts with thePNS smart contract by sending or receiving PNS. When ETH account P sends any amount of PNS to ETH account V, as soon as the transaction is mined both accounts' balances become real, and the true circulating supply of PNS is updated to reflect the new tokens.
Because dude, why NOT? First off, it's hilarious. But there is a real purpose here. See, when there is a way to inject a token into every ether account everywhere, well it's going to happen. And you know what else is going to happen? Someone is going to inject a dong in that shit. So why not us? Guess what it led to? Censorship. And that is not just fascinating, it's important.
Crypto (blockchain, cryptocurrency, "distributed ledger technology" <-- that last one is a gutless main street invention everyone should ignore) is effectively capitalistic anarchy, when executed correctly. With enough global distribution of hash power and full nodes, a blockchain becomes immutable, immune to arbitrary regulation, and provably secure. To put it another way, a strong crypto network represents mathematical truth. It is capitalistic because its strength is a product of voluntary investment of real work - resources, labor, active involvement - in the form of mining and node hosting, the former incentivized by returns in the form of mined coins/tokens/sheckels/whatever. Ain't nothing about that lkely to change without definite capital benefit to the system's stakeholders. Thus, capitalistic. Anarchy is obvious. Without state or centralized control over how the network is used, basically anything goes. Unless, of course, the entire network says "NOPE" and blocks an action, such as attempts to "double spend".
In theory, Ethereum would organically reach a similar capitalistic anarchic stability and level of immutability/security. In practice, however, the global Ethereum experiment and its many contributors and followers find themselves forever at the mercy of a handful of powerful individuals (central authorities) who influence and steer the project as they deem fit. This small authoritative group consistently demonstrates -- hmm what is the opposite of capitalistic anarchist... ah yes! -- collectivistic authoritarian tendencies; they deprioritize immutability, ignore anonymity and security, foster disporopotionate opportunity, and pursue brazen censorship throughout the Ethereum network and global ecosystem. So is seems, then, Ethereum is not a free, unregulated, capitalistic anarchy; it is not a proper blockchain system.
Penis Token makes light of this. Apparently the collectivistic authoritarian world of Ethereum was not prepared for the STD airdrop. PNS was first censored in Gavin Wood's popular Ethereum client application Parity, where the token was properly registered and enjoyed a couple of weeks of exposure to everyone who used the software after PNS was launched. But some were offended by the sight of a token named "PNS", including, apparently, Mr. Wood and the Parity development team who became rather cross about this unexpected asset which earned recognition as a visible ERC-20 token by their own rules and procedures. Presumably they were unimpressed by the release of a working STD implementation. So they censored it. Parity Technologies literally hard-coded an ERC-20 token out of sight in the following release of their software.
Parity is a widely used Ethereum client application. Parity's CTO, founder, and lead developer is Mr. Gavin Wood. Parity proudly displays an actual picture of Wood's face on the home screen of its graphical user interface in an embarrassing promotion of "Gav Coin", which is for sale within Parity. Wood also authored and promoted critically flawed smart contracts via Parity, directly causing the loss of more than $300 million to Ethereum startup companies. Now, Parity is programmed to ensure its users never see PNS in their balances no matter their preferences or interests; the software actively prevents access to a valid, standards-compliant Ethereum token.
There has been no acknowledgement of comments on the Parity Github questioning the decision to arbitrarily dictate which tokens end users may view and interact with. Since the ability to censor ERC-20 tokens was added to Parity, hundreds of token projects have been found to be inaccessible when using the software. Sorry about that, everyone!
Our smart contract code is verified and we have cryptographically signed proof of ownership of the contract creator wallet when submitting basic information to Etherscan for inclusion in their token tracker. Despite satisfying the written requirements, Etherscan refuses to update the token listing, stating: "Once your token really has a good objective and better name, we will update it." Meanwhile, hundreds of outright ICO money-grabs and blatant token scams are given legitimacy in the token tracker and deemed trustworthy by Etherscan.
PNS is disliked by some powerful people who are fundamentally opposed to freedom of expression and free speech. They are offended by some expressions made by free people, and they prefer a system that prevents individuals from freely speaking their beliefs and silences art and creativity that could be alarming or challenging to their fragile identities. They demonstrate a belief that they are fit to decide what is acceptable in human expression...
Think about that. Think about what it means for Ethereum and crypto. Consider where this kind of crushing censorship has occrurred in history.